The Seven Stages of Grief,
1. Shock and Denial - You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.
2. Pain and Guilt - As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating, and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it, or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
3. Anger and Bargaining - Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame on someone else. You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair. (ie. I will never do _______ again if you bring him back to me.)
4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness - Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you used to do, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
5. The Upward Turn - As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
6. Reconstruction - As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7. Acceptance and Hope - During this last of the seven stages of grief, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled person that existed before this tragedy, but you will find a way forward. You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
pretty sure i’m between three and four? :|
I remember Carver doing a play on this last year. Josh was in it! Which is really weird thinking about it now. And then i had to do a critique on the play, and I didn’t understand it. Then I asked Josh what it was all about. He really couldn’t help me because I couldn’t comprehend beyond a fourth grade level. So I asked Cole, who simply replied, “Google.” Should have gone to Cole, first. Shame, shame, shame.
